My son came home from school complaining of his new teacher. Him being an excellent student, it surprised me. My lady usually handled these affairs, but she happened to be busy that day, so I told my son to relax, that I could check into the matter.

It was late afternoon when I approached the school. The place seemed deserted, my footsteps echoed through the halls. My son had assured me his teacher always stayed late grading papers. I knocked at the door and heard a muffled voice, say come in. The woman was seated, but she appeared tall and thin and wore a well tailored suit. She was attractive in a strange sort of way. I told her who I was and why I had come to see her. She pointed to a chair next to her desk and asked me to be seated.

I was completely and utterly shocked at what happened next. She smelled of roses, cinnamon, and hyacinth. Her voice was silky and husky as she whispered in my ear her intentions. I was totally shocked and captivated. Her lips were petulant soft velvet brushing their way down my body. Her strong yet delicate fingers lowered my zipper and reached inside. Getting down on her knees between my legs, she lowered my pants and shorts. She nuzzled my thighs and tongued the end of my erection. Cupping my balls and expertly sucking and licking the entire length of my scrotum, around and up and down ever so slowly.

I felt the tiny hairs on the nape of my neck stand up with electricity.  At this maddening rate I wouldn’t be able to hold back for long. I tried to think some dick wilting thoughts, to prolong the pleasure. She must’ve sensed this and when my mind strayed, she carefully gave me a few bites to bring me back to the business at hand.

I soon spurted my spunk into her greedy mouth. She pushed and massaged my balls inside me, to drain every drop in my body. She swallowed my load and gave me a big French kiss. I could have done without the kiss, but didn’t want to offend her and ruin my son’s scholastic record by protesting.

By this time, I wanted more than a blowjob. I picked her up and swiveled her up onto her desk, scattering papers everywhere. I crushed her lips with mine, drowning out her moans and pleas. As I reached into her panties, I was about to get my second surprise of the day. There taped down to her thigh was a boner almost as big as mine. Needless to say, I had found my dick wilting thoughts after all. I left the room under a vow of mutual silence and from that moment on my son’s grades improved.

*

My name is Catfish McDaris, I’ve been swimming in the small press pond for 20 years. Bukowski’s Indian pal Dave Reeve, editor of Zen Tattoo gave me the name Catfish when I told him I wanted to quit the post office & start a catfish farm. After 3 years as a gunner shooting cannons for Uncle Sam, I hopped freights & hitchhiked across the U.S. & Mexico. I spent a summer shark fishing in the Sea of Cortez, built adobe houses, tamed wild horses around the Grand Canyon, worked in a zinc smelter in the panhandle of Texas, & painted flag poles in the wind. I lived in a cave above a nudist colony & wintered in a Chevy in Denver. I ended at the post office in Milwaukee for 34 year. Now I am rehabbing furniture, making knives, & waiting on nothing.

Pick up one (or all!) of Catfish’s collections!