May 4th 2012: Dear John letters
Empty Nest
, by Ally Pete

Dear John,

Coming home from your weekend in the city to find the house bare is surely a surprise to you, though it shouldn’t be as it’s been both hinted at and directly addressed over the last few months. You have laughed off or outright ignored all discussion regarding what has become an unhealthy entanglement. It is time for you to seek other paths, pursue other relationships, expand your world and seek out new horizons.

Of course this is not an altruistic endeavor. Life must be more than taking care of you, of worrying about you, of fretting over your future, and lamenting over what seems unattainable. Life is about pursuing our dreams and making difficult decisions, eschewing the easy yet unsatisfying path and walking into uncertainty.

Your belongings have been boxed and transported to your friend Dan’s apartment. He has agreed to allow you to stay with him for 1 month or until you find a place of your own, whichever happens first; he will pick you up tonight at 7pm. Please take thisĀ  opportunity to reevaluate your last few years, and try to understand why you have elected to regress rather than leap forward into a wonderful future.

You are surely angry and upset right now, but please know that your father and I love you very much, we just didn’t plan on spending our golden years taking care of our very capable, grown up son.

Love,

Mom

P.S. Once we hear from Dan that you have secured your own place, we will forward our new address.

*

Ally Pete likes rice.


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4 responses to “May 4th 2012: Dear John letters
Empty Nest
, by Ally Pete”

  1. Melodie Miller says:

    Ha – I actually ‘lol’ed!

  2. anon says:

    That really did catch me off guard, fun!

  3. Auntie M says:

    Fun and funny!

  4. Betsy T says:

    My brother was just like this – our parents actually considered just moving in secret to for him to move out. This flash bit was hilarious for me.


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